Parker
I loved my passy
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Aug...really not what i figured it would be............
At this point in my life..........i really would be thinking about making sure everyone is where its supposed to be on pakers room or at any day i could of had baby parker............why do they tell you not to blame youself when its so hard not to.........then i just have to sit and say to myself i did nothing wrong!!! but its so hard being out and seeing people who can't take care of their kids but god is giving them more.....i just dont understand......................i did everything write i dont smoke, drink, or do drugs.........yet step back and look at all the people who can do all 3 of those and have kids..............not caring about what it could do to the baby...............they dont care............maybe i am just being really hateful but quite frankly.........it pisses me off.......parker will know that his mommy did and would have done everything right for him........
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Hey, I'm friends with you on facebook & saw you posted your blog. I'm so sorry for your loss :(
ReplyDeleteI feel you on it being hard to be around people who can have a bunch of kids, but they don't take care of them. For weeks after we lost our second son, Joshua, I had to sit around and listen to my sister-in-law complain about still being pregnant(she was close to her due date) as she puffed away on a cigarette. I would've done anything to go full-term with my boys. She partied and did drugs with her both of her kids, and it was complete torture seeing her have a healthy baby boy. I kept asking myself, "Why my sons?" It just doesn't seem fair sometimes. Don't blame yourself, though. Your baby knows that you did everything you could do; it was out of your hands. Hope you are able to find some peace...